


hunk decided we needed a birthday calendar and chaos ensued

by HyperchaoticStarlight (MVPYurio)



Series: waiting on the world to end [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ((why the fuck is that not a tag but established shallura is)), Asexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Established Keith/Lance (Voltron), Established Shiro/Matt, Family Fluff, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Funny, Gen, Post-Season/Series 03, Silly, Space Uncle Coran (Voltron), Swearing, TAKE FUCKIN NOTE, anyway back to business, broganes, oh yeah right speaking of, see that & sign up there, spoiler alert they make fun of shiro for being a leap day baby, there's like one (1) innuendo in there, ya see it?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-21 04:42:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11936529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MVPYurio/pseuds/HyperchaoticStarlight
Summary: “Friends, I have decided that there is something very crucial that this team is missing... a birthday calendar."





	hunk decided we needed a birthday calendar and chaos ensued

**Author's Note:**

  * For [whichlights](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whichlights/gifts), [TheMagicMicrobus (CallMeCaptainOrSir)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallMeCaptainOrSir/gifts).



> Got a few betas on this, so thank you to [Jay](https://klancethatheyman.tumblr.com/), [Lukas](https://i-have-laith-in-klance.tumblr.com/), and [my auxiliary daughter](https://themagicmicrobus.tumblr.com/).
> 
> And, like with the first one in this series, [Rose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whichlights/pseuds/whichlights) ([witchlightsands](http://witchlightsands.tumblr.com) on tumblr) was a huge part of the planning process, so thank you Rose! <3

“I appreciate the fact that you were all willing to take time out of your very busy day to be here. Please, have a seat.”

“What’s all this about?” Lance asked.

“Have a seat,” said Hunk. “I’ll explain everything as soon as everyone is here.”

Slowly, the rest of the Paladins, along with Shiro, Matt, and Coran, began to file in. “Have a seat,” Hunk said again as they entered. “Thanks for being here.”

Once everyone was seated (in a circle, criss cross applesauce, of course), Hunk cleared his throat. “Friends, I have decided that there is something very crucial that this team is missing.”

“What’s that?” Keith asked, raising an eyebrow.

“A birthday calendar,” Hunk replied. “We have no idea when each other’s birthdays are, which means we can’t celebrate.”

“It’s not like we can tell what day it is,” Keith pointed out. “We’re in space. Time is different out here.”

“Aw, babe, just humor him,” Lance grinned, gently nudging Keith’s side. “Hunk, this sounds fun.”

“Alright!” Hunk exclaimed. With a flourish, the Yellow Paladin pointed to the poster board, where he had written everyone’s names in different colors and styles. “I have mine up here. My birthday is January thirteenth.”

Lance’s hand was up first, already saying “Mine is July twenty-eighth.”

“April third,” said Pidge. “Also, by the way, it was June tenth when we left Earth, if that helps. I had just turned fourteen a few months before that.”

“Definitely helpful; thanks.” Pidge nodded, giving Hunk the thumbs-up.

“And I was getting excited because my birthday was in a month and change,” said Lance. “So I’m probably seventeen now. Hunk’s either seventeen already or about to turn seventeen.”

“And my birthday is October twenty-third,” said Keith, “and I was going to turn eighteen.”

“That puts your birthday in between mine and Lance’s,” said Hunk. “So if I’m seventeen now, that makes you eighteen.”

“I think we can fairly assume that we’ve been in space for over six months,” Pidge piped up. “I did some calculations, and while not everything lines up, the Altean quintant lasts about as long as our day, and Altean years are about the same as our years. Months are divided a little differently, though. I would say that Hunk’s birthday has just passed.”

“Happy belated birthday to me,” said Hunk, smiling. “Okay, how about Allura and Coran?”

“We divide our years into ten months of exactly thirty-six days,” said Allura. “My birthday is the fourth day of the seventh Altean month. Coran’s is the seventeenth of the ninth month.”

“Okay, so we’re off by five days,” said Pidge. “We can still give Allura and Coran Earth birthdays, and then since quintants and days are about the same length, we can use an Earth calendar to go from there.”

“Works for me,” said Hunk. “Okay, so Allura’s birthday is the fourth day of the seventh Altean month. That’s day number 256. Our day 256 is September 12th, so let’s just go with that.”

“I was sixteen when I was put in the cryopod,”  Allura added, hoping to give the team some idea of her age compared to their own.

“Alright, so that makes you seventeen now,” said Hunk. “And Coran is the seventeenth day of the ninth month… okay, hold on.” Hunk tapped his foot gently as he calculated the math in his head. “That’s day number 341, which is December 7th for us. That’s Coran’s Earth birthday. And so that one just passed.”

“I’m not telling you my age,” Coran said defensively.

“Fair enough,” said Hunk. “Okay, gotta write all of this down… alright. Okay, that just leaves Matt and Shiro.”

“My birthday is February twenty-third,” said Matt, looking over to Shiro.

Hunk nodded and wrote Matt’s birthday down. “Shiro?” 

For the first time (in Hunk’s memory at least), Shiro stalled, remaining silent while Matt burst into laughter. “What? What is it?” Hunk asked. He looked between Matt and Shiro, hoping for clarification

“Well, you see—”

“—Matt—”

His protests were fruitless. With a triumphant smirk, Matt announced, “Shiro’s birthday is February twenty-ninth.”

“Oh, you have  _ got _ to be kidding me,” Hunk deadpanned. Pidge snorted, and Keith gave a knowing smile, causing Lance to whirl on him.

“You were holding out on us!” he whined.

“Shiro threatened me!” Keith protested, lightly shoving Lance away from him and ignoring his pout. “He said that if I told anyone he’d confiscate my knife!”

“Yeah, well, that’s what you’d get for stabbing me in the back,” Shiro replied without missing a beat.”

“Okay, what is going on?” Allura asked.

“I can explain,” said Pidge. “So basically, Earth’s rotation on its axis and revolution around the sun aren’t perfectly lined up. To make up for that, every four years we’ve added in an extra day, which we call leap day. Shiro was born on leap day, and what that means is that his birthday only comes every four years… so as of now he’s only had six actual birthdays.”

“Shiro’s six years old!” Lance shouted. Shiro groaned at him.

Allura looked very confused. “But… but that’s just a human social construct,” she said. “You could have chosen any day to be your ‘leap day.’ Shiro’s still spent the same amount of time in the universe as someone born the day before him or the day after.”

“I don’t know, Princess,” said Coran. “Lance says that Shiro is six years old…”

Allura rolled her eyes. “Coran, that’s ridiculous.”

Shiro looked close to tears. “Matt, this is all your fault,” he whined.

“Bite me,” Matt retorted.

“Don’t encourage him,” Pidge muttered, just as Allura asked why Matt would bite him. Shiro covered Matt’s mouth before he could explain and turned a very interesting shade of red.

Meanwhile, Lance and Hunk were loudly planning a “six and a half” birthday party for Shiro when March 1st rolled around.

“Stop them, please,” Shiro whined, looking desperately at Keith and Matt.

Matt and Keith looked at each other, and then at Lance and Hunk. There was silence for a few ticks, and then…

“Hey Hunk, can you make a cake shaped like a dinosaur?”

“Keith!” Shiro protested as the entire group burst out laughing. Keith stretched himself out in Lance’s lap, shooting Shiro a shit-eating grin.

Shiro wrapped his arms tightly around Matt, holding him close. “I swear, if you start helping them—”

“Sorry babe,” said Matt. “You know I can’t resist being a pain.”

“You’re worse than your sister,” Shiro muttered, nodding at Pidge, who was dancing around and singing about how she wasn’t the youngest on the team anymore. “Pidge—”

“—Can it, space son,” she interrupted, and she went back to her dancing.

“I really am rather concerned,” said Coran. “Were we really been having a six year old fly the Black Lion? Because if so…”

“Okay, I’m going to my room,” Shiro announced, standing up. “You’re all terrible.”

“Awwww,” Matt cooed. “Do you need a nap?”

Shiro looked directly at Matt. “Only if you come with me.” With that, he stalked off, muttering “I’m not fucking six.”

“Watch your language!” Keith shouted after him. “Six year olds shouldn’t know those kinds of words!” Shiro flipped Keith the bird without turning around.

Lance, meanwhile, was smirking. “Did Shiro just say what I think he said?” Pidge punched his arm. “Ow!”

“Not in front of my asexual ass,” she warned. “And frankly, I don’t think I would have wanted my brother back so badly if I knew he and Shiro were going to be so fucking sappy.”

“Aww, you don’t mean that,” said Matt.

“Yeah, no, not really,” Pidge admitted. “But I swear, if you go after—aaaaannnnnd he’s gone.”

A few doboshes later, Matt returned with a downtrodden look on his face. “I asked Shiro if he wanted me to sing him a lullaby.”

“And?” Pidge asked.

“He kicked me in the nuts.”

“Oops,” Lance said unapologetically.

“Yeah, so maybe we need to lay it off on the ‘Shiro is six’ thing,” said Hunk. “He seems pretty touchy about it…”

Silence again, and then everyone burst out laughing.

“I’ve had to keep this a secret for way too long,” Keith proclaimed. “We’re laying it off over my dead body.”

“And hey, now he’s asleep!” Allura piped up. “We can throw him a surprise party!”

Hunk looked directly at Allura. “Allura, I adore you,” he declared.

“HECK YEAH!” Lance shouted, punching the air. “SURPRISE PARTY FOR SHIRO!”

“Allura, we let a six year old pilot the Black Lion,” said Coran. Everyone ignored him.

“Okay, so this has got to be dinosaur themed,” said Keith. “And it’s gotta be as ridiculous as possible. We have to milk this for all its worth.”

“I’ll get a new piece of paper,” said Hunk. “Keith and Matt, I think you guys should be in charge of the planning process.”

“Works for me,” said Keith. “This is gonna be great.”

“Wait, hold on,” said Hunk. “This is for Shiro’s six and a half birthday, right? Do we have to plan one for his twenty-sixth birthday as well?”

“Absolutely not,” said Lance. “He’s six and a half; there’s no need to waste his youth.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr @sing-a-rebel-song, as Mod Keith @everything-quiznaks-so-much, or as Mod Allura @queenshippingofficial!!


End file.
